What is counseling, anyway?
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
What is counseling? Is it only for the seriously mentally unwell among us? Is it seeking someone to tell you what to do next? Is it just talking?
To be completely transparent, there were times during the pursuit of my degree in mental health that I often had these questions myself. I thought, “if a person has a close friend, pastor, mentor, parent, or spouse, why would they need the service of counseling?” For sure, those trusted relationships are an absolute necessity in the lives of healthy people, but a therapist serves a different purpose and role - and never replaces those people. Much like a dentist doesn’t replace brushing your own teeth, a therapist is a trained clinician in the field of psychotherapy who is another supportive person who focuses on you and helps move you toward healing.
This leads me to a topic that I find very fascinating and I wonder if you will to.
I began to rethink my initial trepidation about the role of counseling and therapy in a person’s life when I learned what it actually is. Basically, the word psychotherapy comes from two Greek words: psyche which means soul, mind, or life; and therapy which means healing, care, treatment, or service. So quite literally psychotherapy means the care of the soul! Learning that made it all click for me as I pursued my education and understand what my role would be. A quality therapist is a person who is (a) trained in psychological methods (b) has a passion to come alongside a human being to help them work through emotional difficulties, notice unhealthy patterns, and improve their well-being. Yes, this is achieved through listening and talking, but it isn’t simply the act of listening to someone’s problems that helps. It is an intentional therapeutic relationship with a process to help a person experience meaningful change - which will be something different for every single person. One of my favorite quotes is “there is no one size fits all in emotional healing.” You are unique, created by a loving God, and your mix of experiences in this fallen world have shaped (or have the potential to shape) your future.
Taking a look at our psyche (thoughts, mind, will, emotions) is a valuable experience in self-awareness and self-image. Your heart is your inner world and God says we must “guard our heart because our life flows from it!” Much of the work of counseling is visible on the outside, but the work often involves exploring what is happening on a heart (inner world) level. And, quite honestly, is easier for people to do in the privacy of a confidential relationship.
Lastly, before you think that anyone, even a therapist, can make the hard circumstances of life go away, I’d have you think about what God says about trouble in this life. God doesn’t say that we can always avoid experiencing painful emotions and He sure doesn’t say that all of our troubles will go away…. He says, “for in this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! For I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)
So, what is counseling? Well, every therapist has their own approach. My approach is centered around the client and their heart in a trusted, therapeutic relationship. My goal is to create a sacred space to where my client can explore their inner world (heart) and learn to guard it. This comes from processing what happened, examine thoughts, understand emotions, and recognize patterns (healthy and unhealthy) and challenge them to move forward to the life God intends them to have.
